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Thursday, January 5, 2012

I have basic needs

I'm not gonna lie - I'm a little pissed off that no one commented on my super cute new hat. The receptionists in my office almost always compliment my outfit and/or accessories, but for the past two days when I've come in with my new winter hat, they've said nothing. Does that mean they think it's hideous? I don't know that I trust their fashion sense anyway, but still - what am I to make of their silence??? Even the couple of other people I've seen haven't said peep about it. My husband said, "That's a silly hat. Err - I mean 'festive.'" Whatever - I'm used to comments like that from him. At least he noticed it, and for that, he gets points. (Hey - he's a guy - there's a steep grading curve for them because they are all so fashionally challenged.) But I am kind of annoyed that none of my usual fans complimented me on it.

I guess that's to show that I need reinforcement. Of course I like to think I'm an independent, self-confident woman, which generally I am. But who doesn't like a compliment every now and then? As I've said before, I write this blog for my fans, I post irreverent Facebook updates to humor others, and while I don't choose my outfits or accessories to please others, I do like it when they comment about my selections. I think this is healthy - reacting and responding to social cues and reinforcement. Professionals in my field might call this having an "external locus of control," and sure, everything is best in moderation and I think I have a fair amount of an internal locus of control, too. However, I am clearly someone who could not happily exist in a vacuum. I need other people - both to feed my sense of curiosity and fill my daily quota of people watching and subsequent snarky commentary, but also to give me feedback about how I'm doing in the world. Am I nice to others (at least to their faces), do I do good work, do these shoes make my feet look fat, do I have a fuzzy on my back, etc? The world is about interaction and relationships, and dammit, when people don't tell me they love my new hat (or I think I'd be okay even if they said they hated it - something, anything will do!), I just feel all alone and sad. So please, if you're reading this and you see me sporting my new (and might I say awesome) winter hat, please tell me how cute it is! I knew I could count on you. And as for my damn coworkers - poo on them. See if I comment on their matching argyle socks and sweater next time, or their corduroy pants and horizontal striped shirt that clearly should not be worn together. I won't even pretend to notice them, much less like them. So there.

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